i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
