So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
