I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
