Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
