so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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