When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
