:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
