ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
