I can tuck mytits in my pants
You can't special order awesome
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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