Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
