So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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