YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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