Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
