I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
