You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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