How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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