Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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