guys are not supposed to queef...right?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
