I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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