a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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