Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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