Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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