In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
