um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
