that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
