Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
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Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
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You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i out mim tonsoeep
tell me about the fingering
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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