she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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