Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
