i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
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I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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