i will never coherently bang her
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
