Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
