Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
