college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
