two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
sex in a hospital.. check
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
