there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
