I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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