Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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