I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
