The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am never drinking with the goths again.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
