your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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