OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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