his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
