my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
