I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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