I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
