I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
