They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
