I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just had sex on a roof
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
