i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
