it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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