Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
