We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
