10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
40s are totally the cure
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
