My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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