btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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