So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
