Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
