Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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