You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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