ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize