so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
