Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
