we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
