So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
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Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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