your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
